I am a mother now
Four weeks ago, I gave birth to my first child. Her name is Francesca Sinù, and she's a redhead with fair skin and long legs.
For 9 months, her dad and I wondered what she might look like, and while we were unsure about pretty much everything - our combined families have quite the varied set of traits - we both agreed she would certainly be a mediterranean brunette. Far from it. She was born with flaming red locks and no hint of olive skin. Free from the shackles of her parents' expectations right from the start ... and for that, I love her even more.
Since her arrival, I've skipped countless hours of sleep, somehow managed to start breastfeeding, and spent almost equal amount of time gazing at her in disbelief and crying in the bathroom.
No one prepares you for the trauma of giving birth or the long, bloody process your body goes through to recover from labor. It may take weeks, months, or even years. One thing is for sure: there's no "bouncing back." An event so huge it's broken me into a million pieces which, I realise, I've only just started glueing together. What will come out of it?
But having this baby has done something unprecedented: it's anchored me firmly in the present moment. As a certified overthinker, the past and the future are the territories my mind likes to wander in. What could I have done to change that outcome? What should I do to make my future life better? These are the kinds of questions that crowd my stubborn capricorn head day in and day out.
Now, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with her.
Thank you Francesca for this wonderful gift of presence and for making us your parents. We love you to the moon and back.
Your mom always,
Sinù xx
Gift of presence … the power of now ❤️
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