Snowflakes On Christmas Morning
08:44 am, Christmas Morning
Francesca almost slept through the night, and now she’s snuggled up with her dad, her belly full of warm milk. I could’ve stayed in bed—maybe even gone back to sleep after feeding her. We’re in no rush, really. But I’m wide awake with a snowstorm in my head—every thought a snowflake, whirling in circles before disappearing on the frosty ground. This is our first Christmas as a family of three; my first Christmas as a mother and my baby's first Christmas in what I hope is a long string of happy Christmas days. I petted my childhood dog and hugged my childhood cat before getting up from under the covers; they're only memories now but feel as real as my arm and leg. I miss them so much. I think I might be a little emotional this morning! Which is why I'm giving myself the best gift of all: time to be with myself and let the mind wander wherever she pleases. Feel all the feelings before the day begins. The warm and the fuzzy, the melancholic, the sad, the remorse, the anger, the happy, the sad, the shame, the awe, and the profound gratitude of being alive... I embrace them all on this cold morning on Christmas day.
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas. May we be whole again, may we be happy.
Sinù xx
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